Understanding Phobias in Children
According to Johns Hopkins University, everyone, from the youngest child to the oldest adult, experiences anxieties and fears at one time or another. Feeling anxious in a particularly uncomfortable situation never feels good. However, with kids, such feelings are not only normal, they are also necessary. Dealing with anxieties can prepare young people to handle the unsettling experiences and challenging situations of life. Many anxieties and fears are normal. Anxiety is defined as “apprehension without apparent cause.” It usually occurs when there is no immediate threat to a person’s safety or well-being, but the threat feels real.
Anxiety makes someone want to escape the situation — fast. The heart beats quickly, the body might begin to perspire, and “butterflies” in the stomach soon follow. However, a little bit of anxiety can actually help people stay alert and focused. Having fears or anxieties about certain things can also be helpful because it makes kids behave in a safe way. For example, a kid with a fear of fire would avoid playing with matches.
What are phobias in children?
A phobia is an excessive fear of an object or situation. It is a fear that lasts for at least 6 months. A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder. When anxieties and fears persist, problems can arise. As much as a parent hopes the child will grow out of it, sometimes the opposite occurs, and the cause of the anxiety looms larger and becomes more prevalent. The anxiety becomes a phobia or a fear that is extreme, severe, and persistent. A phobia can be very difficult to tolerate, both for kids and those around them, especially if the anxiety-producing stimulus (whatever is causing the anxiety) is hard to avoid (e.g., thunderstorms).
“Real” phobias are one of the top reasons kids are referred to mental health professionals. But the good news is that unless the phobia hinders the everyday ability to function, the child sometimes won’t need treatment by a professional because, in time, the phobia will be resolved.
These are some different types of phobias:
- Specific phobia. A child has anxiety when exposed to a certain object or situation. He or she stays away from the object or situation, dreads it, or endures it with so much fear that it interferes with normal activities. Some common phobias are a fear of animals, insects, blood, heights, or flying.
- Panic disorder. A child feels an unpredictable, unexpected period of great fear or discomfort without an identifiable trigger. It seems like it’s “coming out of nowhere”. He or she may have a panic attack. Symptoms include shortness of breath, dizziness, lightheadedness, shaking, fear of losing control, and a racing heartbeat. Symptoms can last for hours. But they often peak after 10 minutes.
- This is a fear of open spaces, such as being outside or leaving home alone. It is linked to one or more phobias or the fear of having a panic attack.
- Social anxiety disorder. A child is afraid of one or more social or performance situations with others of the same age group. Examples are acting in a school play or giving a speech in front of the class.
- Separation anxiety disorder. A child fears being apart from an attachment figure, such as a mother or father. This condition interferes with daily activities.
- Selective mutism. A child can’t speak in some social situations.
How can you help your child?
You can help your child develop the skills and confidence to overcome fears so that they don’t evolve into phobic reactions. Here is what you can do to help your child deal with fears and anxieties:
- Recognize that fear is real. As trivial as a fear may seem, it feels real to your child and it is causing him or her to feel anxious and afraid. Being able to talk about fears helps — words often take some of the power out of the negative feeling. If you talk about it, it can become less powerful.
- Never belittle the fear as a way of forcing your child to overcome it. Saying, “Don’t be ridiculous! There are no monsters in your closet!” may get your child to go to bed, but it won’t make the fear go away.
- Don’t cater to fears, though. If your child doesn’t like dogs, don’t cross the street deliberately to avoid one. This will just reinforce that dogs should be feared and avoided. Provide support and gentle care as you approach the feared object or situation with your child.
- Teach kids how to rate fear. A child who can visualize the intensity of the fear on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the strongest, may be able to “see” the fear as less intense than first imagined. Younger kids can think about how “full of fear” they are, with being full “up to my knees” as not so scared, “up to my stomach” as more frightened, and “up to my head” as truly petrified.
- Teach coping strategies. Try these easy-to-implement techniques. Using you as a “home base,” your child can venture out toward the feared object, and then return to you for safety before venturing out again. Kids also can learn some positive self-statements (such as “I can do this” and “I will be OK”) to say to themselves when feeling anxious. Relaxation techniques are helpful, including visualization (of floating on a cloud or lying on a beach, for example) and deep breathing (imagining that the lungs are balloons and letting them slowly deflate).
The key to resolving fears and anxieties is to overcome them. Using these suggestions, you can help your child better cope with life’s situations.
This article is provided by Dr. Ralph Kueche (Child Psychologist). Dr. Kuechle is a Child and Adolescent Clinical Psychologist who specializes in treating children and their families who may be struggling with mood and behavioral issues. Learn more about Dr. Kuechle.
